I’d like to touch on something that is fundamental in business today but the nuisances of which seem to still be a mystery to many of us, networking. There are several misconceptions about what that means, how it works and why we do it. There are also persistent non-productive attitudes toward the idea that I see all the time and would love to change, but it all starts understanding what networking really is and what it is not.

If I were to write my own dictionary like definition it would look something like this: "Networking is the process by which we connect with other people who have common interests or goals for the purpose of sharing contacts, information, services and support." In a very broad sense that sums it up fairly well and could be applied to almost any type of interpersonal networking or reason for networking. However, when we think of why we network it helps to go beyond applying this to strictly business goals (sales for example) even when the purpose is business.

Personal reasons beyond the business motivation for networking might include making new friends, philanthropy and getting involved with your community. Ultimately, that leads me to what networking really is, Building Relationships, nothing more, nothing less. Those relationships may be as deep or as narrow as appropriate but it is still important to focus on the person, not just the business need you have of them else you come off as just another slick used car salesman that no one want’s to do business with. The catch, if you can call it that, is that building relationships takes time. It may not result in immediate business or quick sales but will help you to accomplish your long term goals in a sustainable way. And when short term results are important, those people you have built a relationship with will likely be able to help you out, either on their own or by referring you to their contacts (whom they have built relationships with). And there is almost no easier means to and end than through a personal referral from someone who has a vested relationship with you.

The key advantage to approaching networking in this way falls right back to psychology 101 (and to think, I never really thought that degree would come in all that handy!). Relationships are infinitely more important to accomplishing your business goals than your price or merit, because the fact of the matter is people are exceedingly more likely to do business with someone they know, trust and have a track record with than they are a stranger. Whether networking in the business world or internally within your own company, if people like you, trust you and have faith in you, you have a chance. But remember, it takes time!

Networking is not handing out business cards a random meetings and asking people what they "do" as though you are instantly trying to assess whether or not they are of value to you then moving on. These are the people who regularly show up to meetings of the organizations that I am involved with in Dallas who quickly come and go and have accomplished little more than wasting their time and money. Networking is not “knowing” (I use the term loosely) as many people as possible either. The more the merrier as long as those relationships are of some quality and you know something about the person, not just what their job is.

A few tips for good networking (I've highlighted a few that stand out to me):

1. Don’t be inappropriate but don’t be afraid to get a little personal when you meet someone new. Remember, you are getting to know them, but keep it at a pretty high level.
2. Pay attention to what people say and they’ll give you a lot of information without even trying.
3. Always show interest by asking questions. If the conversation dies, keep asking, even if they are not.
4. Check your ego at the door every time you walk into a meeting. You’ll be more approachable and more interested in them, not just your own motivation.
5. Get their e-mail or phone number (or get it all on a card) and even if you have nothing to say follow up the next day and let them know you enjoyed meeting them. If you can invite them to another event or something they might be interested in all the better, you are building rapport. Hell, just suggest you go have beers sometime soon to chat about… whatever.
6. If you don’t hear right back after trying to reach someone don’t be afraid to follow-up again in a couple of days (try a different medium). If you still don’t hear back, that’s ok. You won’t connect with everyone every time.
7. Get off your couch, go do stuff and invite people along, but pay attention to the things they might be interested in. If you know they hate baseball, think about inviting someone else to a baseball game.
8. Never forget what it is like to be the new person. I can’t stress this enough. Go to a new group by yourself if you need a reminder of how uncomfortable it can be. If you have been around a while, make haste to introduce yourself to the new person. You will usually be greeted warmly and it will be easy to get to know them. We all want to talk to someone!
9. Networking is as much about them (if not more so) than it is about you. Don’t just ask for stuff, have something to offer.
10. When you meet someone for the first time talk about whatever you can think of (use good judgment though). The point is to get the conversation going.
11. Always make eye contact, just don’t be creepy and stare.
12. Don’t forget to shake hands, it’s a formal way of making physical contact and that puts people at ease, it also show respect while keeping you on the same level.
13. Smile! I look like a dork when I smile but I still do it because it also puts people at ease.
14. Practice the art of getting to know people and the benefits to your business will work them self out!
15. Don’t be afraid to ask for help (hint: even if you don’t need it) from someone new or who is a recent acquaintance. People love to feel “smart” and that you are already interested in and trust their insights and opinions.
16. Never stop!

Remember: Networking = Relationship Building (and it takes time!)

Got more tips on Networking? I'd love to hear them, leave us comments.....